Heir to Grass
by Ultimagu
Summary: A Mysterious representative comes to Konoha demanding a bride for his Kage. Which of our favorite kunoichi are going to get stuck with a stick in the mud? Could romance even blossom? AU with plenty of OOC
1. Prolouge

The man walking up to the front gates of Konoha...could be described within a single glance as the laziest, next to our favorite Nara that is, and most annoyed looking, next to our favorite Uchiha, being you could ever find. He had brown hair that stuck in which ever way it decided to stick...looking as if it had never even been forced to try and be tamed. The man also had glasses that glared light so well...that no matter what angle you were at...they were giving you this fierce little glare of light and his eyes remained hidden.

He had on these eloqouent clothes...a green robe that was tied extremely tight around his middle in three knots...and from what could tell...slippers on. He looked rather comical...with the constipated, '_I hate this_' look...and bathwear on. However...to any normal observer...you would miss out on the aura that leaked from him. It wasn't anything special looking...just too conformed to be your average aura of a villager or even samurai...it was that of someone restraining themselves from blowing up the universe because they found a snickers in their pool.

Now again I must reiterate my point of the story...the man was walking up to the front gates of Konoha. Gates that towered over man and machine alike. But he only gazed on them for seconds before looking at the two chuunin at the gate looking as if they were napping. His eye twitched even if you couldn't see it as he walked in front of the two men...and still no word came from them.

The man began to tap his foot in impatience...a very irratible man it looked like to any villager crossing on the inside of the village. Finally losing all of his patience...the man took out a cane and whacked both chuunin over the heads...both screaming invasion at the top of their lungs and brandishing kunai to defend themselves before giving nervous chuckles at noticing their surroundings.

Those surroudnings being the shaking of villagers heads at the two...and an angry man glaring at them with a cane in hand, and a small smirk to his face that promised more where that came from.

"State your business here sir?" the first chuunin asked as his duty called of him. It was so boring having the gate duty. It meant he was in trouble...well...the two of them were in trouble for playing around in the hokage's office while she wasn't there. Namely...they had been too preoccupied to notice her assistant come in and scream and pass out in a nosebleed. Well...you get the picture. Iruka was so embaressed. Kakashi...who had been demoted for the day was equally embaressed...but kept to himself on the matter.

The man however didn't know this and couldn't comment on it. He opened his mouth to say something when a white headed figure went sailing out the gates...followed shortly by a loud obnoxious blonde chasing after him...cursing him in kiddie innocent words of what he was going to do to Jiraiya ruining his bowl of ramen.

The man thought it was all over and could continue till he saw a green flash yelling about the springtime of YOOOOOUUUTH!, and how Naruto owed him for the broken dishes at Ichiraku. When that was over he was astounded to see a ten year old girl...with black hair and white eyes shouting to profess her love her Lee-kun. Iruka just scoffed at little Hanabi...cause Lee was Gai's bitch...and no one questioned that relationship.

The man coughed and questioned going into the forest and returning in a few days but he gave a few words in dry humor, "Must be the sake." Iruka and Kakashi...had he had his nose out of his porn...and not giggling insanely at what Greg had for Cindy in the basket...were not amused.

Iruka replied with his same question, "State your business here..._sir_." he stressed. He wanted time alone with his Kakashi-kun. The man just ignored him, till flashing him a Grass document of representation.

"I have a surprise meeting for the Godaime," he replied coldly...cackling inside when the chuunin backed off and wavered him in. Representatives if treated too bad could report home and create unwanted hostilities...seeing as they were already at war with the Sound.

Walking into Konoha with a bored look on his face the man walked for hours it seemed...walking in random circles it seemed. That made sense...he had never been there before...but in reality he was memorizing the streets in case the information was needed. Though within the hour he had made his way to the Hokage Tower...where he simply walked past the Anbu guarding the door to their surprise...and to the annoyance of many. However...it was his annoyance when he found a woman...he presumed to be the Hokage...passed out drunk...a bottle of sake in her hands. "Figures...it is the sake," he mumbles to himself.

He went up to the woman and slammed his fists down on the desk to get attention, ducking under the fist aimed at his face, "Naruto! How many time...oh." Tsunade says laughing nervously at his annoyed look. Before becoming serious again and asking annoyed herself again, "Who are you...and what do you need?"

He grins at her forwardness. He sits himself down...a presumptios thing to do in the Hokage's office. "I am a representative of the Grass Nation," he says simply to get her to see thing his way. The Grass nation perhaps wasn't as big as the Fire nation...but it certainly did bring in considerable trade. Their capital city being the most productive city on the continent...with trade routes to Rock, Fire, Sand, Rain, Waterfall...many of the powerful Shinobi nations. To his delight...she sat down and prepared herself for the meeting. It wasn't like she had anything better to do...just a mountain of paperwork. Yep...nothing better to do.

"This is unexpected," she says formerly...gesturing to some tea...which he waves off...pulling out a small bottle of sake...and taking a small sip, before stopping it off and returning it to the folds of his robe.

"If it was expected I'd have less an advantage," he says grinning at her...the grin becoming wider...if possible, when he notices the vein bulge in her forehead.

"Then by all _means_ go right ahead," she almost growls giving him a waving motion to continue. He nods.

"You may not be aware of it yet...but the Rokudaime of the Grass has recently passed away, leaving his son as his heir to be Kage. However, in order to become Kage, the boy needs to get married," he says leaving not one...but two bombs on her. She had her mouth wide open...nations simply didn't express their weakness...it was unorthodox to do so.

"...And what does this have to do with Konoha brat?" she actually growls this time...she had better things...seeing her paperwork corrected herself. So maybe she didn't have anything better to do.

"I am giving Konoha an A-Rank mission. To present the heir with a selection of kunoichi for him to marry..." he lays yet another bomb on her. And Tsunade could feel the headache this would cause come on to her in torrents.


	2. The Shocking News!

Tsunade didn't exactly have words to describe the position she was in. For Konoha it presented a wonderful oppurtunity to become very closely tied to the richest...if not smallest shinobi nation. On the other hand...she knew of only four kunoichi within their ranks...that would be powerful enough, and influential enough, not to mention the heir's age...that fit the bill. One of them was her own apprentice, Haruno Sakura. No...she need better information on what they would offer in return, "And what exactly is the Grass willing to do in return for a Konoha kunoichi?" Tsunade asked with a careful note to herself to be careful. This was politics...and the slightest mistep could have the pocketbook of every shinobi nation angry...and thus angry at Konoha.

The man rubbed his temples taking off his shiny glasses to reveal black eyes. There were no discernable pupils to those eyes...just a solid blackness to their depths. Much like the Hyuuga with their lavender or white pupils. "Information of a very high quality," the representative responded in his own light tone...his hostility gone now that she seemed to sober up some.

_Information?_ thought Tsunade to herself. Information was not worth a shinobi of any rank that could bring in up to 10,000 ryo a year as a genin...to the ones that really helped pay the bills in anbu and special jounin that brought in around 700,000 ryo a year. However he was not finished it seemed.

"As well as protection from the Rock," he completed with what was far more useful...and probably related to the information. Tsunade had a good idea where this was going...and it didn't sound like fun. Well...she reconciled with herself...fun for anyone not a crazy lunatic...thinking of several shinobi off hand that we are very familiar with.

"Why would Konoha need protection from the Rock?" Tsunade asked trying to whiddle the information out of him. It wouldn't work...but it did show Tsunade was interested. Politics wasn't played by a bunch of fools. There was always an action or meaning hidden underneath what you said and did.

The man just looked at with his creepy black eyes and smiled a fanged smile. At least he was enjoying himself. "Accept the mission first, and then I'll tell you," he responded. Ah...so there was the crux of the situation. An ultimatum for her to accept and pay a small fee for help and an alliance...or to refuse and be left in the dark with not only no information...but an advantage given to the Rock...as the Grass would sell their information for the highest bitter...and the world reaped the rewards in blood. Above all...as Hokage...Tsunade could not allow that to happen. It took very little thought otherwise...Tenten...Hinata...Ino...or her own apprentice Sakura would be forced to line up and be judged like pieces of meat...for the information and alliance to actually come through.

"I accept," she spoke as calm as she could. Nobody in the shinobi ranks was going to enjoy this much...but Grass would absolutely love it. Not to mention the villagers. The villagers would be estatic for increased trade. The man continued to look at her, as if searching for any failing to comply with her word in her eyes. At length he merely nodded and donned his glasses again.

"As a sign of good faith," he had reverted to his bored tone of voice, "I will give you the information now." he looked at her to be prepared for what he had to say. When he felt she was ready...he for the fourth time that day dropped a bomb on her shoulders...making her want to crush the world under her powerful hands in frustration. "The Rock have prepared for war again," and there he said it. Her suspicion confirmed...it would be much like a Great Shinobi War all over again. And frankly...with dealing with Orichimaru...they needed all the help they could get.

She wanted to call him a liar...a filthy liar that just wanted to perv on a few teenage girls and send him crashing through the wall. But you couldn't do that. Not with the Grass nation. The Sound nation had nearly been crippled when the Grass learned of Orichimaru impersonating Grass ninja in the chuunin exams. Crippled when all of their assets were frozen in the Grass...and then when no apology was given...absorbed into the Grass funds and budgets...never to be reclaimed. And she could not risk Konoha going bankrupt during war. Financing an army was just as important as feeding that army. In its own way...it was exactly like feeding that army...only on a political level.

"Come with me," she said, sending for her Anbu guards to seek out the four girls that fit the bill...and to line them up in the third conference room while she made a bit of small talk with the representative.

They waited for nearly half an hour before Anbu told Tsunade in hushed tones that the girls were ready. So leading the way, Tsunade showed the representative the way to the conference room...and when entering...her trained hearing could hear the sighs or twitches of the girls. They were afraid...and when she saw them...she knew they were ready to do their job. Each in their normal wear...and their heads down...trying to act...or in Hinata's case, just being demure. Like a good oriental wife was supposed to be...Tsunade would hit anyone who said that...but that was the way it was.

As Tsunade and the man stepped forward she could see them cower a little in the man's presence...but after a few seconds of actually seeing what he was wearing..their shaking was from silent laughter than anything. In turn...the man took charge of the whole situation, right from Tsunade's hands...leaving all of women helpless. "Quit your laughing you bunch of evil wenches," he thundered at them.

When they glared at him he stomped his foot shaking the tower...much like it would when Tsunade stomped hers...or hit Naruto for the billionth time. Now they had a reason to fear him. He wasn't just a political man...he was a shinobi...much like them. They had chosen a good representative to send for this mission...albeit if he were a tad unorthodox.

"Chins up...I haven't all day to look for scum," they each in turn slowly tilted their chins up and glared at him still...even Hinata. No one called her mean names but Naruto...and that was when...she started blushing at the thought of Naruto's...kinky side. He swore up and down that it was the baka-fox that tempted him to call her his bitch...but she wasn't so sure all the time.

He looked over them with disdain in his eyes...this was the best selection Konoha had to offer for his information and offer of help? He looked to Tsunade to let her know he was insulted by her selection...but when she merely shrugged at him he sighed. There was nothing he could do but torture them a little he supposed.

He came forward and stood right in front of a blonde...who looked back at him with seething eyes. He placed a hand on her cheek and when it was slapped away he wrenched her hand beneath her back and jerked it little by little to the point of snapping, "Don't...do that...again." he growled down at her prone form...face pressing into the floor...a knee pressed into her lower back.

When she finally gave a soft sound to show her submittance...he let her go and gave her enough time to stand before placing his hand on her cheek again, twisting her in every which way to gaze on her. Finally he said, "This twig is a girl?" he placed a hand on her breast to emphasize his point, giving it a couple of pushes up, "These feel like melons with bones in them," he looked to Ino and gave her a cold glare of dismissal. She left on the verge of tears...and the other three girls wondered if they would leave the room in tears...or in a bodybag...or even worse...with his stamp of approval.


	3. The Representatives Name?

Tsunade was on the verge of killing this representative. But these were customs of many of the other shinobi nations. Women were practically second class citizens if they weren't jounin or better. In the Grass it was about as bad as it got. Women weren't trusted with money too much...in a land where money was the most important thing.

The three girls looked at the man in fear themselves...but he didn't take a grasp on any of them. Instead he took a few steps backwards to look over them. At length he told Hinata to scram...she wouldn't make a good wife to a man that would control everyone's pockets. It was between Tenten and Sakura.

"I'm going to ask a few questions, and I want both of you to answer in turn, starting with pinkie," he looks to them to see if they understand what he is telling them...for it didn't sound like he was asking. After they gave small nods he laid into them with his barrage of questions, "Whats important to you?"

Sakura questioned herself on this...treating it like an exam question. At length she answered, "Keeping that slut Hinata from claiming my Naruto-kun." The man was impressed by the acid in her tone but chuckled. When she looked at him questioningly.

"This Naruto is blond...wears orange and black?" he asked...and Sakura was afraid of what he might reveal to her about her Naru-kun. When she did confirm his guess he chuckled some more, "Just share him wench, get out of here." Proud of himself for doing that blonde idiot from earlier a favor by setting him up with two ladies instead of just one...Oh who was he kidding? He condemned the kid to death.

At a small noise he looked at the remaining kunoichi standing there...and she looked as if her world was about to collapse. He just rolled his eyes and asked her the same question, "You're a show-in for the job yet. Whats important to you?" The girl in the chinese shirt looked at him and thought fast and hard at what answer might get her out of the whole thing.

"Training with cock," she said as best could...but couldn't help the stuttering in her voice. If she was impure they wouldn't take her...even if she was still. The man...being a politician for a reason just quirked his eyebrow and looked over at Tsunade. Tsunade who knew what Tenten was doing couldn't relieve her worshipper. Being Hokage could suck sometimes.

"I'll have her checke..." Tsunade began but the man just waved her off.

"No need...I can smell no other scent on her but fear and her own sweat," he interjected into Tsunade's statement. The man closer and grinned at the girl who stood just a few inches shorter than himself. Taking off his glasses he let his black orbs peer into her brown ones. He then whispered very softly, "That was a good ploy girl. You'd make a good wife for the Heir." He turns and strides over to Tsunade, handing her 50,000 ryo. "Konoha's mission is complete. I will stay here to make absolutely sure miss Tenten is ready for her wedding in three weeks," his voice leaves no room for arguement. And when he had left...Tsunade made her way over to the distraught kunoichi...and conciled her as best she could. The man on the other side of the door sighed...what was with these people anyway? I mean sure...you get married...you're forced to give a few kids...and beyond that...whoever heard of the kage's wife from that? It was pointless to cry over it. The best thing we do is suck it up and keep walking.

He asked a nearby Anbu for the address of the girl named Tenten...and when finally recieving it gave the Anbu a whack over the head for his tardiness. He was in a foul mood he could tell...and made sure to drop 2 ryo as an apology for the Anbu. The Anbu sweat dropped at the obvious attempt at an apology. 2 ryo...couldn't give him a blowjob in the extremely cheap redlight district where they guranteed any price will go.

The man made his way out of the building only to be haulted by a pink haired girl...and a blonde haired girl who seemed to have regained her confidence. He waited patiently for them to say something while they glared at him before the pink one finally drawled out, "Well aren't you going to apologize pervert?" her voice thundered...and his eye twitched at the irony that the Grass nation had been recieiving some loud noises lately from far away. He wondered briefly if it was this girl in front of him...with a whale sized larynx that they heard on a day to day order.

He just rolled his eyes at them and came forward in front of the blonde before grasping her from behind and tilting her backwards underneath his body as his black orbs looked into her own blue ones. And he smirked in triumph as she naturally started to close her eyes in lust. But he let go of her and let her drop on her ass and looked over at the Hokage's apprentice, "Nope...but thanks for the entertainment Pinkie," he kneels down to the peeved blonde and gives her a solid kiss before getting up and walking away. Leaving a stunned pinki...I mean Sakura and Ino.

Sakura just growled under her breath and was about to complain were her temp. best friend Ino when she noticed Ino was red in the face. She jumped to conclusions pretty quickly, "Did that pervert do anything to you while I wasn't paying attention?" she asked in a quick and angry tone.

Ino looked over at her and shook her head before managing out, "He left me hot..." was all she could get before she passed out from a nosebleed dribbling out her nostril. Sakura looked at her friend and slung her over her shoulder...since they weren't leaving...it was a perfect time for them to...share her Naru-kun like she had dreamed about last night. She hadn't planned actually going ahead and doing it...but what the man had said spurred her on to do so.

Somewhere across the village a certain blonde ninja was sneezing like crazy before he finally stood and shouted, "Finally! Somebody recgonizes me!" To which a towel was thrown over his eyes with growls of, 'oh we recgonize you pervert'. To which Naruto ran for his life because of the kunoichi running after him...his damned sensei just henging into a rock to avoid being trampled.

In another somewhere the representative from Grass was looking up at the apartment where the chosen bride lived. He let himself in...using the window...over the traps...and into a big plush sized doll of a black haired, lavender eyed Hyuuga. His eye twitched at the thing now hugging him...and was shredded to pieces...whoops. He hadn't meant to get defensive...but he remembered a certain person looking the exact same when he entered making out with a guy with a white dog nearby. It had shook his male soul down to the core. He ridded himself of the evidence...namely he took the pieces and threw them out the window before finding the bed...and landing on it.

He had had quite the time since his father died...and now he was in some Konoha girl's room...where there a few scrolls lieing around covering up some shirts and panties and oth...wait. Panties? He crouched down with his tiredness gone as he sifted through the green panties...they were all...green? He had no way of knowing that her teammate Lee-_kun_...had visited to change a few days ago and made the place a mess...in the event losing _his_...clothing. Just as he could feel his teenage mind take over...he heard the click of the front door. So he dropped the panties, and laid down on the bed snuggling up the pillow...his glasses on the bedside table.

He heard someone sigh as they entered...and then a scream...not to mention a metal whang over his head within seconds. He looked up from his spot on the floor...yep...he approved of her now. That hit was enough...to...wow...that...had...hurt.

"What the hell are you doing here?" she seethed at him...a skillet in hand to whang him with again. "And where's my Neji-kun doll?"

He looked at the small remains of the doll where it had stood, "Your doll is in pieces because it scared me. It reminded of an exact look-a-like I saw in the park making out with some guy with a white dog," he replied...of course this alone made her look a little green, but no wait it got better! "And I'm here till I can take you back with me to the Grass." he chuckles, laying his head back on the floor, "Oh and Tenten...just call me...Pierre...from now on..." he pulls her down onto the floor with him as he uses her as a body pillow, whispering words that gave away an exact title to his name, "...my...fiance."


	4. The Skillet of DOOM!

If you were to say...that one Miss Tenten was surprised...you'd be in for a lovely treat. As a matter of fact and principle...she was. The cold hearted bastard...who had made the tough as nails Ino cry...and later swoon, was her fiance? Great...just what a girl needed in her life.

He was asleep on her bed when she had come into her home...and it was to her surprise her Neji-kun doll was...in ribbons. So she had smashed him over the head with a skillet...and in return got his title...and a crushing blow that Neji was gay...something everybody else knew.

Now she had no clue what to do...so she did what came natural.

Tenten was bashing him over the head with the same skillet from before...screaming curses at him. A collection of people were watching from the window. Sakura for some reason was pressing Naruto between herself and Hinata...and Ino was laying on their laps, Lee was looking for something in her apartment, and Neji...yuck!

"Umm...I realize he was a sexist jerk Tenten...but...is this necessary?" came the sweet voice of Hinata. During the half an hour period we weren't focusing on anything here...a certain foursome group was away proving there were a few straight people in this story...I mean village.

Tenten looked behind her wildly with a glint in her eye, in midstroke of bashing his head in again. "You realize he was just sleeping here right?" she asked with a growl to her voice...so sexy...so sultry...so...scary!!!

Of course much to Tenten's disdain she looked back to continue when she got no answer to see she was straddling a log...and a certain robed figure was standing amongst the people watching. Worse than that...he was in all his green robed glory munching on donuts. As a matter of fact...he had her entire box of donuts in one hand...and plopping them in one by one eating them.

He stopped when she noticed that he had replaced himself with a log...and fully expected the battle charge with the warcry...he was kind enough to oblige her in her pleading scream of fury, and sidestepped her. "I guess I'm a little less welcome than I thought I was." Our favorite gang of super ninjas...mostly homos by now...looked in awe that he had been standing there...this...whole time.

The fearsome Foursome were all making out not caring...Neji was still...and Kiba was...yuck. Iruka and Kakashi had disappeared some time ago. Lee was looking for her panties. Gai was yelling strange words of praise to his Lee-Bitch...I mean chan. Yeah...Lee-chan...doesn't really have a ring to it, does it?

Tenten by now was torn between smashing his head in again and running outside screaming for kami to just fry her brain. In the end she hung her head and cleared the room of people...a dangerous gleam in her eyes. Pierre...as that was what he had told her his name was...looked bored. Not only that...but he looked sleepy...still.

When they were all gone she turned to him and walked slowly...very slowly up to him and looked up at him. His mouth pursed when he saw the tears threatening to spill. He did something unexpected...to her at least. And only because she hasn't read fanfiction before. He used his index finger and thumb to wipe away the tears and his words whispered like a ghost right in front of her, "You knew your job the day you became a kunoichi...I don't like this any better than you," did she dare here any grief in his voice? "But it is the duty that brings this union together...don't make it anymore than that," ok...the helpful voice had flown out the window...and she nearly sank to her knees before he picked her up and laid her down gently on her bed.

Then just as he came...he left...tucking underneath the blanket for the night and walking out...to the couch he went. There he sat down...and his eyes slowly rolled back into his head...even if you couldn't see it being done.

She however did not fall straight to sleep...she instead found herself crying because she was chained by duty to marry the man outside her door, her Neji-kun was gay, she was pmsing...and worst of all...Naruto of all people was happier than her worth twelve holes to go golfing in. Then again...she doubted Ino was that crazy...so make it eleven holes.

She was bound by duty to marry the most important man in all of merchantdom...and if she didn't...Konoha...the land she loved would be burdened by war. Oh...Tsunade her idol had indeed warned her of the consequences...but gave her words of hope. '_He's a man...he'll lose interest...and leave you to true love one day.'_ And no matter how little hope it gave...she still did hope.

She heard a soft snore during one of her after the waterwork sniffles...a snore. She got out of bed instantly alert to whatever had made the noise. She creeped so silently out her door and found...a sight that made her sad. The man that represented her new found pain and sadness...was so tired he had fallen asleep sitting on her stiff couch. It took just a touch of discomfort present in his features that she found a motherly instinct take over as she practically glided over to him and laid him down to rest in a much easier position. She took off his robe and he was wearing just a green shirt and shorts beneath that. A necklace much like the one Naruto wore all the time around his neck...she almost rubbed his arm a bit before blushing and scampering back to her room to sleep.


	5. Their First Fluff

It was the very next day that Tenten woke up to the strangest...next to the previous one of course...day of her life. Just outside of her room...was a person she had forgot was there. Pierre. Heir to be the Kage of the entire Grass Nation. The bank of the world. Not only was he in her home...which she had forgotten to expect, but he was floating of all things.

Out came her trusty skillet of DOOM, and with a war cry she whanged him over the head...only for nothing to happen. Much to the dismay of her sanity he twirled around in midair with a calm expression on his face. The same green robes on. "Good morning Tenten-san," was his calm, if not irritating, response.

"...Good...morning Pierre?" she responded as best as she could. "What...are you doing...?" she almost asked him what he was doing there...but remembering at the last second had saved her from further embaressment.

He looked perplexed before he smirked of all things, "I forgot Konoha does not teach tranquility to its people." Ok...scratch the embaressment...give her a kunai...he needed a new ass and now! "It is exactly like the tree climbing or water walking excersises. Only it is levitation...far too much chakra to be of much use in battle, and requiring a medic's control," he seemed to be giving her a lesson.

She snorted, ever so ladylike, and responded, "Hai Pierre-sempai." She enjoyed the tiny frown twitch onto his face and in the end paid a heavy price.

"Baka!" he cried out whacking her head with a magical newspaper. I call it magical because he pulled it out of thin air. I mean...unless he pulled it out his...ewww! She rubbed her head and vaguely wondered where her ninja abilities were this morning. "This technique calms the soul, replaces fear and anxiety for tranquility. No wonder all of your males are screwing around with other males," he exclaims in a bit of frustration. She notes also he lowers just a tad towards the floor and she grins inside a manical little grin.

"It seems so stupid to me if it can't be used for battle," she sighs circling around him slowly. She could practically hear his calm beginning to crack, to fissure, and snap.

"It is a stupid technique for those that can't grasp its depths. It is useless to those that can't possibly see a reason to be ready to face death," his voice sounds as if its becoming grounded out like a fine coffee. Can't forget the wonders of coffee.

She waves underneath him, and above him, "Your kidding right? I bet your just suspending yourself in the air so you like the perfect image of bathroom glory." It is this that seems to break his calm...and according to the rules of logic, he doesn't fall. He finds an inner calm from a tourtoise named Atlas and whacks her over the head again with his stinky newspaper. Every pun intended.

He began raising in the air again with his new found angry tourtoise calm and more than that seemed to float off...she let out a sigh she had been holding inside. Gods what did she see in him last night? Then fate being the wonderful bitch she is decided to remind her.

_She heard a soft snore during one of her after the waterwork sniffles...a snore. She got out of bed instantly alert to whatever had made the noise. She creeped so silently out her door and found...a sight that made her sad. The man that represented her new found pain and sadness...was so tired he had fallen asleep sitting on her stiff couch. It took just a touch of discomfort present in his features that she found a motherly instinct take over as she practically glided over to him and laid him down to rest in a much easier position. She took off his robe and he was wearing just a green shirt and shorts beneath that. A necklace much like the one Naruto wore all the time around his neck...she almost rubbed his arm a bit before blushing and scampering back to her room to sleep._

Oh yeah...because behind all of it...she could sometimes glimpse the human behind the visage. The bits and pieces that made up the true inner workings of his mind. The parts of him that weren't run by his notions of duty and rank. She had seen some of the bits and pieces. Like the frustrated sex drive of your typical teenage boy.

_He just rolled his eyes at them and came forward in front of the blonde before grasping her from behind and tilting her backwards underneath his body as his black orbs looked into her own blue ones. And he smirked in triumph as she naturally started to close her eyes in lust. But he let go of her and let her drop on her ass and looked over at the Hokage's apprentice, "Nope...but thanks for the entertainment Pinkie," he kneels down to the peeved blonde and gives her a solid kiss before getting up and walking away. Leaving a stunned pinki...I mean Sakura and Ino._

She had witnessed that with Tsunade-sama up in the Hokage Tower. Ino was already a bit of an emerging sex fiend...but to actually get her riled up and then leave her...had to take some steel will, and some blue balls. Those deep black of eyes of his despite their obvious hardened glaze to them showed just the tiniest of cracks. Somewhere deep inside those entirely black eyes of his...was a fifteen year old teenager who had just lost his father, was forced to marry some crazy bi...I mean girl, and to top it all off, forced to rule the mightiest financial nation in the world.

She felt a well of pity for him, and in the background heard something shatter. Its amazing how dry wells can be instantly. She walked...as calmly as she could towards the sound...and found that his hovering had bumped into a few dishes...causing them to fall and break. He didn't seem bothered by it...hadn't even opened an eye. She sighed and scooped down to pick it up...when it began levitating as well. She pushed it back down on the ground as she prayed...prayed so very hard for her sanity to return to her. Too late sister!

It came up again and this time she sat on it. She felt it wobble beneath her, before it stopped and she felt a warm pressure against the side of her head which she tried to smack away but she just smacked air. "I was trying to fix it," his voice came softly.

She looked up at him to see him looking down at her very calmly again. But she shook her head like a stubborn child and he settled his legs down on the ground as if warning her. When she shook her head again he picked her up by her upper arms and she still was like a stubborn child. When at last she opened her eyes she found herself staring back into those deep black eyes to which no light reflected off of. She found herself looking at his lips and wondering vaguely if this is how Ino had felt.

The savory goodness that is a kiss came. It felt like it took billions of years, but it came. Light and quick...not nearly enough for a kunoichi of Tenten's standard. She resumed active duty in her mind and body and spirit as a kunoichi, and she pulled his head in for a deep fiery kiss.

When they parted her eyes were burning and he could see it all too well. Now it seemed it was he who was the child, and she the powerful...adult like person. Which would be really cool because I doubt he minded being spanked right now. Alas...there would be no spanking...more spooning, yes. More tongueing, yes. It was early morning, training at being a ninja was over the day, and the two were exploring just what it might be like to be married one day.

At that exact time...give or take a second...or minute...maybe even an hour or two, our favorite group of homosexuals, Iruka/Kakashi, Gai/Lee, and Neji/Kiba were in a deep debate. They then remembered Lee was technically a girl so Gai/Lee were kicked out to do their...'things'. Meanwhile the debates raged deeper and deeper. Insults and attacks. Negotiotations and defenses. Things were really heating up. The topic...what color was the coolest to wear this season, purple or violet.

Ah yes...Konoha. Land of the free. Land of the Hom...even more free. Cough.


	6. War

It had been two weeks since they had first met...and things had simmered down to a few stray kisses every now and then. If there was someone else around...she was reminded of that arrogant diplomat that first arrived. But when everyone was gone...it was as if he could unwind and be more his true self. She had been able to ask a few of the messengers that came by to speak with Pierre a few times. Their stories linked well hand in hand...and it didn't hurt to get to know her new people soon enough.

As best she could gather, after the incident where Orichimaru had insulted the Grass nation by posing as Grass ninja, Sasuke...which I will make mention to note that this particular Sasuke is not a brooding little emo, but rather instead Pierre's father, and the former Kage. Anyway...it seemed the former Kage, after he had erased the sheets of capital that the Sound had, had begun to become a little nervous himself. It was worried over if Orochimaru would assasinate the Kage for his counter attack on the Sound nation. Just over two months ago...it seemed illness had struck, and the Kage died within a few days.

The civil government took up the reign's as best they could...but in a society where one ruler reigns supreme, a new Kage was needed. And the best candidate was Sasuke's own son, Pierre. In the Grass hidden village, Sasuke and Pierre were well known for being some of the most generous and kindhearted people you could find. Even after the illness/possible assasination.

Tenten was interupted from her thinking, by the very subject of her thoughts...along with the rest of Homo Squad! They all sat around her living room, the meeting had been called together for close friends of Tenten's. Lee and Gai were for once not crying over every little thing, Lee because she was a girl...and Gai...well...because he was frankly just a big...cat? Naruto looked as foxy as ever...showing off his own growing relationship...Sakura and Ino sitting on either side of him, pressed deep into his sides. Hinata this time curled up on their laps. Kakashi strangely alone...and Iruka off in another corner looking mad. Must've been another fight.

And then there on the couch sat Tenten and Pierre side by side. Pierre acting just as stick-in-the-mud as he can, while being nicer for Ten-chan. It was Pierre that stood up...ever the face things head on sort of fellow, "You've been asked to come here to be personally given the invitation to the wedding," if he were any other sort of man...he might whither from all the glares sent his way since none of them liked him all that much. But...Tenten liked him...so they tolerated him.

He rolled his eyes...not that you could tell. He had his damndable glasses on again. "Those among you here will be, if you decide to come, amongst the elite of the Grass," he smiled a nice and feral smile at them, "So don't be stupid for once." Tenten gives him a kick in the shin and he grumbles sitting down. Normal pleasant conversation continuing from there on well into the night.

Tenten found herself saying to Ino, "It was a strange morning not so long ago, that I found him floating," this of course had everybodies attention. People floating just doesn't happen really. Not even in the ninja world. Now everyone was looking at him curiously as he sat there looking dazed and a vacant expression on his face.

"How did you do that, hmm?" came an unexpected voice. Kakashi had spoken up for his own first question of the night. In return he recieved that same feral smile from before.

"I do believe that you couldn't ever possibly comprehend the ways of Ether," he says cockily. A certain assuredness to his voice.

The first to raise hell about this declaration, was from Naruto. "I can learn anything, Believe it!" To which a few people rolled their eyes, and his girlfriends patted his head. Everybody got a good laugh out of this.

"I don't mean to be rude Naruto," everybody rolled their eyes again at Pierre's words, "but it is something your born with, not much else." As an example, he raises his hand up palm facing outwards and across from him on the table a cup slowly levitates.

Now for anybody who is thinking of chakra...your on a close track. For anybody shouting for the rise of Anakin Skywalker...your on a bit of a closer track. The personal files of only a few short military powers had information on Ether outside of the Grass Nation. It was a way of utilizing chakra in such a way, that it manipulated the very basics and foundations of the universe. It was a technique performed by constantly having your chakra drawn out in long flexible and yet rigid strings. Children sharpen and harden these strings constantly. Creating multiple of them and utilizing up to four at a time as children. These strings can be the invisible knife at someone's throat, as the strings are invisible, and can be sharpened enough to pierce flesh. They can also be wrapped around an object and therefore pick that object up. In much of a way...it was The Force. Only it had limitations. Adults didn't have the brain power to use more than 10 at a time. If you were to somehow become strong enough so that the strings did start to show color...they wasted said chakra very quickly. And if you focused on them as much as you would need to become a real master, you'd already spent fifty years of your life.

Some of the greatest masters had built two or three of their strings into permenant strings around their body. One master was rumored to have used a string to give himself immortality by having it constantly clean and strengthen his cells.

But none of them knew this. Most of it Pierre knew. He was from the Grass. But Ether was a secret way of killing...and it would become the curse of all warfare. It would become the curse of many nations. And it started this very night.

It wasn't much longer into the night when a tapping was heard at the window. And before most could see a figure clad entirely in black with a grass forehead protector on was kneeling before Pierre. He held a red noted scroll in hand.

Pierre snatched the scroll from his messenger and tore it open. His face set into a grim frown. He turned only to Tenten and whispered a few short words, his forehead on hers and the soft whisper of 'I love you', before he was gone, out the window, and out of sight. Behind him he left a confused crowd...and a slowly sniffling Tenten as the impact of his words slowly sunk through.

Everyone asked what in heavens name was the matter, but all she she could utter to them, "Grass has declared war on the Rain."


	7. Six Month War

It had been six months. Six long...so very long months. When the Rain daimyo had declared war on the Grass...he hadn't expected their ally to join them from the north. But the said nation called the Land of Tea was not as sissy as its name sounded. In fact, it had one of the strongest samurai armies...it just wasn't a powerful shinobi nation. Or for that matter...a very big industrial kind of nation. It was very spartan like...whoever the Spartans were in the world of Naruto.

The initial invasion had been met with a seizing of the Rain assets and a subsequent counter invasion which had stormed up the narrow Rain nation. The Tea nation had responded and backed its ally...but it was said that the narrow frontlines were riddled with samurai bodies. The up and coming Pierre was said to be on those very frontlines devastating his enemies. In fact...as the Kage Heir...he was personally leading his forces to victory after victory after victory. He seemed like an unstoppable force.

No other nation desired to get into the bloodshed...even Konoha kept out of it...not willing to waste an effort on such trivial matters, while they pummeled away at their inner demons in the council, in Akatsuki, and the Sound nation.

Our favorite shinobi gang knew exactly what that meant...he was bathing in blood and death. It was even in its own way justified...a nation invading their neighbor to grow and expand. It was said there was not a single squad or battalion that Pierre had come up against he hadn't squished like bugs. And he wasn't the only one there fighting such an outnumbered war. Other Ether masters were making leaps and bounds in their own areas and pressing steadily towards the Rain capital of Amegakure.

Jiraiyi had reported from his connections, that Orochimru was very angry about the turn of events. Where he had tried to set devastation and complete collapse, he had only fueled a tiny nation with a gigantic pocketbook with the hatred needed to become a powerful shinobi nation.

He had even heard that there was some technique called 'Ether' that slaughtered people like pigs. And the idea that the Grass nation held such a mighty technique in their hand...they were bound to win wars against difficult odds. And the odds seemed to stack against them. I mean...you have one of the mightiest samurai armies decide eh...let's come and fight this nation. You have some of the most renowned shinobi in the world fighting against you. Who doesn't like fighting such difficult odds where certain death is guranteed...if this weren't a fanfic. But shh...they don't know we're creating them!

What happens further, rumors come out about the Grass shinobi and even samurai using some sort of force to manipulate the world around them. Knowledgable men and women were playing it off as chakra...but some of the descriptions...if they were true...hinted at something far beyond chakra. Beyond chakra? Tenten wondered if that was what he had meant when he had explained his levitation...and she had teased him so mercilessly.

Furthermore Tenten had recieved only one message...to never contact him. It hurt. To say it hurt was such an understatement. Naturally she knew as a kunoichi that exposing their relationship during this war could be fatal on someone's behalf...but it hurt none the less. Even her hero Tsunade hadn't been able to cheer her up.

So Tenten found herself practicing her aim and strength and agility with absolutely no interest. Out of pure habit she kept herself in stretch and shape. It happened to be just one day...out of the blue no wonder that horrible news came...the Waterfall had declared war on the Grass as well. Revenge for a feud over fifty years old. This very feud could be called nothing short of a family vendetta that the Waterfall nation had a desire to end. As well as any could remember...it concerned a golden cow and a banquet in honor of men unafraid of women!...(homos)...notice a pattern in the jokes concerning shinobi?

So the news ticks by...battle after battle...territory taken...territory lost. It was a miracle that the Grass were holding off such odds. 3-1. But further than that, the Myriad Powers, as the Rain-Tea-Waterfall forces called themselves, outnumbered the Grass soldiers 7-1. Pierre was turning more and more into an idolistic figure...and his name and persona etched into the Bingo Book. It read;

Name: Pierre de Herb

Age: 16

Rank: Kage Heir

Power Level: S+

Techniques: Suspected and unconfirmed 'Ether'. Favors the Dragon summoning. Lightening and Wing manipulation. Unconfirmed Fire and Water. Jounin Earth control.

Known for: taking on entire battalions at a time and coming out of the battle unscratched, setting allied armies against each other, assassination.

He was classified as a human disaster by the end of the war after six months. And ranked at a power level where you should just attempt to run. He was seen fit to be called equal to the Akatsuki members.

Tenten felt she would be so happy to see his face again. That she would be so...happy to find the man that she felt she loved, and knew loved her, return home to her. Dreams are such a fragile thing. When the war ended...Tsunade had made an attempt to pivot herself between the defeated and the victorious...the Grass of course...

Her attempt had been met with an outright refusal by three of the four nations. The only one to not refuse had been Waterfall...but didn't have much say as a defeated land. The most active of the anti-Konoha intervention had been none other than Pierre himself...and had turned from hero to monster in the papers of Konoha.

His exact words might've been a little stretched, but it came out as, "The Grass nation has no need for the likes of the Konoha. For that matter...it has no need for its 'supposed' ally!" To make matters just a little bit worse...the defeated nations had all ended up signing over their lands and money to the Grass. The influx had brought a rapid boost to the Grass economy...and the Rock were very interested in gaining the suddenly super power nation into their hands.

Tsunade knew this could not happen...and had attempted to remind Pierre of his impending marriage. His words had been cold...even as Tenten listened in on the meeting, "I was under the impression...that our contract had been cancelled Tsunade." No sama...and by any means...no respect evident in his voice.

It was a black and darkened day. Naruto may have been free from the likes of the now dead Orochimaru or the dead Akatsuki. But the Fire Nation as a whole...was being pressed now. The new entry to the Five (now the Six) Great Shinobi Nations, the Grass, didn't like Konoha for some reason? It was all a few nations needed to declare their hatred and loathing for Konoha as well.

So...where does all of this history lead us? Where does it all end up directing in the currents of life? Well...

It leads us right to where we would expect young Tenten to be. An escort...to the Grass capital. She had heard rumors that it was now defended to the teeth...but hadn't expected the towering walls...so much taller than Konoha's...or the great Iron Gates, so much thicker than the wooden ones of Konoha. In fact...she hadn't expected probably the first thing she should have...her mission to escort...a certain S+ power leveled ninja, Pierre de Herb.

When they met...she had no clue they had met at first. She was waiting idly for the man she was supposed to escort to Konoha. He had his face wrapped...so only his deep black eyes were visible. The rest of his body was covered as well. He was like a mummy...and yet his eyes seemed so much more vacant than they had been.

Could she blame a man, who was already closed about his heart...to go through a war where he would have to slaughter people like cattle in order to survive...and just expect him to return. She remembered Naruto saying once, '_Its good that killing unsettles you. It shows you're still human_.' That was her thought in mind...as she stared into such vacant black depths.

"Hi...Pierre."


	8. Fornication!

Pierre looked to her with vacant black depths and he muttered a small response. He continued staring at her as she stared at him...so glad to see him again. However he didn't seem all that interested in who she was...at all. "Good day Miss Tenou," he says oh so formally to her. In her chest she could feel her heart break at those words. He seemed just as cold as that day she had first seen the dorky perception of him, judging the four girls like pieces of meat.

However he didn't allow her time to stare at him and think. "Are you ready? I need to be in Konoha within the day," his same familiar voice caresses her ears...and yet burns her heart at the same time. Wait...within the day? That was a four day go at the fastest she had ever run!

It seemed however he had the answer to her question as he strode up beside her whispering, "Come on Tenten, just get on my back and we're heading out." Ahh...so there was the crux. He would only be so quiet and distant from her if he felt there was still someone out looking to kill him. So naturally she climbs onto his back and gives a slight shiver at the muscles she can feel beneath her fingertips. War had hardened him in ways that, she licked her lips, she absolutely loved.

As she held on tight, and he blurred the background propelling them forwards and turning almost without having even slowed to turn. She kept her eyes vigilant as he focused on speeding them towards Konoha, her mind turning over the facts. He had probably made an a discrete alliance with Tsunade-sama and kept up the pretence of actively being against her...because if thats what others saw...then they would reveal their truest feelings as well. One dominoe falls, the others fall with it. The little move had exposed several oppurtunistic lands around the two superpowers. Little nations that could be gobbled up for further expansion.

That also meant...their marriage was still to take place most likely! She flushed such a pretty red thinking about it. Her hands tightening around him and she herself rubbing against him as she thought about it. This man carrying her...whom she had fallen in love with...was going to be her husband. And though life would be a little difficult...she'd have better access than most kunoichi in order to become the best there ever was!

In the meantime, Pierre was thinking as well. _'Teryaki chicken...oh teryaki chicken. How I love my teryaki chicken! Its good with beans and rice! It's good with beans and rice! How I love my beans and rice! It smells...'_...umm...we'll come back later!

Tenten found herself amazed at the blurring of the sights. She remembered the one time Lee-chan had carried her when she had been hurt pretty bad after a battle. He/She had practically flown...but this was something else entirely. It took merchants about three weeks to get between the two cities, Konoha and the capital of the Grass country, Dijon.

She wanted to ask him about the Ether...about when she caught him levitating. That...had been their very first kiss...and she really flushed at how forward she had been. But he had tried to give her just a light little kiss...when she needed so much more. She was 15...she was a kunoichi...she could die any day. She felt herself being pulled slowly...ever so slowly towards the idea of premarital sex. Gods how she wanted this man beneath her fingertips. Her memories only fueling her desire.

_At a small noise he looked at the remaining kunoichi standing there...and she looked as if her world was about to collapse. He just rolled his eyes and asked her the same question, "You're a show-in for the job yet. Whats important to you?" The girl in the chinese shirt looked at him and thought fast and hard at what answer might get her out of the whole thing._

_"Training with cock," she said as best could...but couldn't help the stuttering in her voice. If she was impure they wouldn't take her...even if she was still. The man...being a politician for a reason just quirked his eyebrow and looked over at Tsunade. Tsunade who knew what Tenten was doing couldn't relieve her worshipper. Being Hokage could suck sometimes._

AND

_He just rolled his eyes at them and came forward in front of the blonde before grasping her from behind and tilting her backwards underneath his body as his black orbs looked into her own blue ones. And he smirked in triumph as she naturally started to close her eyes in lust. But he let go of her and let her drop on her ass and looked over at the Hokage's apprentice, "Nope...but thanks for the entertainment Pinkie," he kneels down to the peeved blonde and gives her a solid kiss before getting up and walking away. Leaving a stunned pinki...I mean Sakura and Ino._

_Sakura just growled under her breath and was about to complain were her temp. best friend Ino when she noticed Ino was red in the face. She jumped to conclusions pretty quickly, "Did that pervert do anything to you while I wasn't paying attention?" she asked in a quick and angry tone._

_Ino looked over at her and shook her head before managing out, "He left me hot..."_

AND

_The savory goodness that is a kiss came. It felt like it took billions of years, but it came. Light and quick...not nearly enough for a kunoichi of Tenten's standard. She resumed active duty in her mind and body and spirit as a kunoichi, and she pulled his head in for a deep fiery kiss._

_When they parted her eyes were burning and he could see it all too well. Now it seemed it was he who was the child, and she the powerful...adult like person. Which would be really cool because I doubt he minded being spanked right now. Alas...there would be no spanking...more spooning, yes. More tongueing, yes. It was early morning, training at being a ninja was over the day, and the two were exploring just what it might be like to be married one day. _

Their first kiss...and series of kisses...and she blushed at the thought...light fondling. She also had remembered the days afterwards where the poured their emotions into each other through those kisses. She could feel the deep well of sadness somehow in his kisses. And he could feel the frustration in her kisses.

Lets take a look back at Pierre's thoughts, '_Ramen in the morning...ramen in the evening! Gods I love ramen...especially when its made by onii-chan.'_ Well...that really is unexpected. Who would've thought that one of the most powerful ninjas in the world could be so childish. coughnarutoandsasukecough. Like I said...who would've thought?

It was finally...that Tenten made Pierre stop. Her rear end was in a little bit of pain from the bumpy parts in the ride. She sat beneath an willow tree and massaged her buns (dunda ch!) with her fingers. Trying to dig into the muscle to rub out the tension. It was to her embaressment...when she felt thicker, for masculine fingers kneed into her posterior (dunda ch!) and slowly rub out that tension. She felt so embaressed as he rolled her onto her side as his fingers caressed her bottom (dunda ch!). She just couldn't help but moan...and regretted the sound instantly.

Humans have a breaking limit. Even the most iron willed person (man in this case) can crumble at just the right sounds and actions from another person (woman in this case). Take for example Pierre. No matter how you honestly looked at it...you had to remember he was a 15 year old teenage boy. He killed people, and he drank a little bit from time to time to drive away his own personal demons.

That is why...when she moaned...to a boy who had never had the luxiory of doing anything else but give in to instinct to save himself...he now instead gave into instinct and slipped his fingers underneath her clothing...caressing her bottom skin to skin. When she was turned over and stared into his deep black eyes...she knew where this was headed...and knew without a doubt...she'd love every second of it.

Chicka-chicka Bow wow! (for those of you who don't understand...they fornicate in the forest.)

Omake:

Gai: Lee!

Lee: Gai-sensei!

Gai: Le...sensei?

Lee: What?

Gai: (taps foot waiting)

Lee: Do I have to?

Gai: (nods solomnly)

Lee: (sigh)...Gai-master!

wink!


	9. Repeator just continuation?

After our favorite couple (mine because I made them...they don't have to be yours) were done fornicating. And by that I mean when they were done bending eachother in odd ways and ramming against the other, they lay once again beneath the same willow tree and cuddled close to the other. This was just a small glimpse of what their life was going to be like. Chaotic, full of wars, angry frustrated sex. It was worth it...it was definetly worth it.

Pierre found himself looking down at the girl in his arms and wondered...just...wondered what life was going to be like with the love of someone else. She didn't need to say it. He could see it. All he needed to do was see it, and he'd express his own feelings, reciprocating her own. She loved him...and by the gods did he love her as well.

He was just a little disturbed, as all 15 boys sometimes are, when they know they're to become fathers. How did he know? Easy...he felt his balls shrivel a little...and a glimpsing pain at a lack of this...this...ambrosia Ten-chan seemed to give him. Not to mention the little taste of her own special ambrosia he had gotten to taste. Let's just say that if the words going and down were ever spoken around him...he might cream his pants just thinking about her.

Tenten, for her own part was sleeping. Or at least half asleep snuggled into his side. Her cheek on his chest and her lips lightly grasping onto the little nub that they were brushed up against. Vaguely she could feel the light shivers they brought to her fiancee...and she dreamed very 'happily'. She wondered if this how Hinata had felt when she'd given Naruto that little torture set and told him to put it to 'good' use on her and the rest of his harem sometime.

However...like the ever changing course of nature, our favorite couple found themselves having to get up...reclaim their far flung articles of clothing...and then return on their quick journey to Konoha.

The journey took a little while...after all they were exhausted after all the bending and ramming. Trees still passed by in a flash. The whole world was a blur to her...and she was somewhat surprised that he could avoid the trees so easily. She wasn't as smart as Sakura text wise, but she did understand you're eyes would have to be working pretty hard to see, avoid, see, avoid again. Or...what was that Sakura had mentioned last time? Something about time slowing down? She mentally shrugged her shoulders. What kind of idiot could suggest time slowed down?

When the doors of Konoha came into view...she wasn't quite as enthralled in them as she used to be. After all she had seen bigger (dunda ch!). There waiting for something...anything to happen were two chuunin. One was a cyclops talking to his lover...a man with two little scars. Its a wonder is it not? As Tenten and Pierre approached...the two chuunin stood at attention.

Tenten looked confused as to why the two would actually stop being lazy and give them attention. At that, their full attention. She couldn't even see their little orange books around. Pierre just smiled knowingly, putting a concealed cane away.

"Welcome back Grass Kage!" Iruka called out to them as they neared. Pierre gave him a nod and was about to say something...when the craziest...and admittedly most expected thing happened.

He opened his mouth to say something when a white headed figure went sailing out the gates again...followed shortly by a loud obnoxious blonde chasing after him again...cursing him in kiddie innocent words of what he was going to do to Jiraiya ruining his bowl of ramen again.

The man hoped it was all over this time and could continue till he saw a green flash yelling about the springtime of YOOOOOUUUTH!...again, and how Naruto owed him for the broken dishes at Ichiraku...again. When that was over he was astounded to see a ten year old girl...with black hair and white eyes shouting to profess her love her Lee-kun...believe it or not again. Iruka just scoffed at little Hanabi again...cause Lee was Gai's bitch...still...and no one questioned that relationship. Except my reader audience.

By the end of it...Pierre's eye was twitching and he seemed ready to smack them over with his cane anyway till Tenten whispered softly into his ear, _'Does this mean I get to be judged like a piece of meat again'_. Pierre twitched again...but in a good way. Yes...a very good way.

"Iruka...tell the Hokage that she can wait on that meeting. I'm very tired and cannot be disturbed," and then he was running off with Tenten in his arms, who was squeeling like mad, towards the nearest private place they could find.

Now it was Iruka's eye that twitched till he heard his own lover whisper, _'Don't worry about it sweety. They're young.'_. Anybody ready to drop dead to know that was Kakashi? O.O.


	10. Author's Announcement

**Author's Announcements:**

I know hardly anyone reads my profile (which wouldn't matter since it's out of date anyway), so I have posted these following announcements in all of my stories to let you formally know that I will be attempting to write chapters for most of my stories once again. I cannot guarantee anything, but I am most willing to make the effort.

That's the important part. Here come the details (your queue to leave if you want).

**Reasons Why I Haven't Been Writing:**

Well…geez, put me on the spot without time for cookies or milk. I haven't been writing mostly because of the combined dedications my life has required of me. In the time since I wrote _Memoirs of a Time Traveler_ I have done the following things, each further complicating my life as a burgeoning adult:

1. Began a polyamorous relationship.

2. Managed to get my girlfriend of five years pregnant.

3. Fought with the parents of the newest member of our 'Triad' in the Triangular relationship.

4. Finally given up the idea of trying to treat both of my girlfriends equal in public status and married my pregnant girlfriend (to avoid the evil state of Indiana's bureaucracy).

5. Had my mother-in-law move in to help us with bills.

6. Had a child whom we call Alex.

7. Managed to obtain a 35 hour job (which previously had been 20 hours since after #3 but before #4).

8. Have continued my undergraduate education throughout the entire process.

**Reasons Why I Will Begin Writing Anew:**

These are the reasons why I'm more optimistic about a renewed writing!

1. Resigned from my job since my boss is a douche and was probably going to fire me anyway.

2. Finals are over!

3. Looking for another job and taking care of Alex, but still plenty of free time from the additional hours (some 70 in my week) which have been freed up recently.

4. Because I hate to see 'abandoned' on my stories!

I look forward to presenting everyone with wonderful new material on old ideas. Let it be known, however, that not all of my lack of posting is from a lack of writing. I have written three chapters for various stories when my computer crashed around seven months ago. Don't blame me, blame the elves.

So, without further ado, I bid you welcome into a new age of writing by Ultimagu.


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